Category: Beliefs

Overcoming the fear of aging

Overcoming the fear of aging

Aging, like sickness and death, is part and parcel of life. Everyone who is born must eventually age and die. This is the natural cycle of life. However, not everyone ages in the same way. Some age gracefully. Others age with fear.

Fear is Optional

If you are fearful of aging, you should know that this fear is not inevitable. It is there only because of your own past experiences, your own beliefs and your own attitude towards it. In the end, it is a matter of choice. Aging is inevitable but fear of aging is not. Aging of this body is a physical phenomenon. That is why it is inevitable. Fear, on the other hand, is a mental phenomenon. It is optional.

Identify Your Fears

If you are fearful of aging, you should try to be more specific and identify what it is that you are really fearful of. Generally, those who fear aging are actually fearful of sickness and death. Those who believe that they can age with a healthy and functioning body have little fear of aging. Those who think of the possibility of sickness and death as they age become fearful.

Having identify our specific fears, it then becomes possible to do something about it.

Fear of Sickness

If it is sickness, then we can start to live a healthy lifestyle. It is never too late to start a habit of living healthily. If you smoke, stop smoking. If you drink alcohol, and especially if you drink heavily, then tone it down. Drink less. Scientific studies have actually shown that a small amount of alcohol is good for your physical health but too much is harmful. Sleep early and wake up early. Sleep well. Exercise regularly. Eat healthily. Drink lots of water. Practice yoga or tai chi. Learn to meditate. All these improve the quality of your life, making you healthier mentally, emotionally and physically.

Fear of Death

If your fear is death, then once again you have to be specific. Is it the process of dying that you are afraid of, or is it death itself? If it is the process of dying, then the real fear for most people is actually the fear of a painful dying process. If that is the case, we have good news for you. Science and medicine today have reached a point where we can almost always minimise pain in the dying process. In most cases, we can even totally eradicate pain. However, even without medicine, pain can still be managed well. Physical pain may be inevitable but mental suffering is optional.

The question then is how do we free ourselves from mental suffering in the presence of physical pain? The answer to that is a strong mind. We can train our mind to be strong and resilient. It is a skill, and like all skills, it takes practice. The most common and popular mind training is meditation. So, learn to meditate, and learn it well. Gain mastery over your own mind. Then you will have little to be fearful of.

Fear of the Unknown

Lastly, if it is death itself that you are afraid of, then it is most likely because death is a big unknown. What happens to us after death? This is a spiritual question, and you will need a spiritual answer. It all comes down to your belief system. So, when you talk about death, and especially when you want a solution to this type of fear about death, then you must re-visit your spirituality, and the very nature of who you are.

Are you simply this body or are you more than just this physical body? When you die, is there a part of you that continues on? This is your quest. It is a journey that none can take for you. Only you can do this for yourself.

Identifying Limiting Beliefs through Recurring Patterns

Identifying Limiting Beliefs through Recurring Patterns

One of the most common patterns of behaviour that I encounter is a self sabotaging behaviour towards money.

Diane is a lady in her mid 30’s. She is a very kind hearted woman and enjoys helping people. Despite her good nature and pure intention, she constantly complains that she just can’t seem to prosper, no matter what she does. Every business venture that she tries seems to end in failure.

“I do not cheat and I do not lie to do business, yet I am not able to succeed in whatever I do. Perhaps people like me are just not suited for business,” she says.

And there-in lies her problem!

She believes that business is a “dirty” business and good people cannot therefore succeed in business. Furthermore, she also believes that she should not get rewarded for doing good things for others. So each time she gives a good service to others, she dare not charge them a premium rate. In fact, she frequently undercharged them, sometimes resulting in a loss to herself. On the other hand, when she buys from others, she is afraid that they may not earn enough from her, and so she rarely ever negotiate for a good price for her own purchases.

Little wonder she fails in her businesses!

Once she recognises her self limiting beliefs, she immediately make a conscious effort to change them.

“It’s not easy to change.

There is already a set pattern of behaviour. The old habits I have tried to resist my effort to change. At first, it feels very uncomfortable to do things differently, to behave and respond differently, but after a few times it gets easier.

Learning to negotiate was a new experience for me. There is this constant guilt that arises whenever I start a negotiation, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that others seem to accept negotiation as part and parcel of doing business. Some even looked at me with a new respect! Pretty soon, I was trying to negotiate at everything. Of course, I remind myself not to get carried away.”

Dramatic changes sometimes require only a single change in our limiting beliefs.

SELF LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT MONEY

As mentioned earlier, limiting beliefs about money is one of the most common problems encountered by the masses. Some of these limiting beliefs are:

* Money is the root of all evils
* People who are filthy rich cannot have gotten their wealth legitimately
* Poor is good. It means I am more spiritual
* I don’t deserve to be rich
* When I do good, I shouldn’t asked to be rewarded for my effort
* And many more…

If you have any one of these beliefs, it’s time you recognise them and do something about it. There are many ways to overcome these limiting beliefs and we will touch on them later.

Note: If you’re in a hurry to eliminate your limiting beliefs on money, learn how to do so with Brad Yate’s Money Beyond Belief… The Spiritual Way

How to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

How to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

Beliefs drive attitude and behavior. Self limiting beliefs result in self sabotaging attitudes and behaviors that prevent us from getting what we want in life.

So the first step to self transformation and change must involve a change in our belief system. Without this change, nothing else you do will lead to a permanent change in your life.

However, we acquire most of our beliefs unconsciously. Once accepted and imprinted into our subconscious mind, it takes a conscious effort to remove and replace them with positive life enhancing beliefs. That is the reason why many gurus advocate conscious living.

There are many ways to identify our self limiting beliefs and all require a conscious effort to be mindful of our thoughts, speech and action.

Below is a list of the areas we need to focus on in identifying our self limiting beliefs, beginning with the most obvious problematic area and slowly working towards the more subtle area of the mind.

Recurring problems
Patterns of behavior
Emotion
Speech
Thoughts

RECURRING PROBLEMS

Some people seem to have the unhealthy ability to get into relationships that are obviously going to lead to trouble. For example, there was this lady in her late 20’s who seems to be getting into relationships with older married men over and over again.

As she consciously and mindfully looked into herself, she discovered not one but several beliefs that led to her behavior. She believed…

…that all good men are married
…that mature men are more tender and caring
…that all the young men wanted from her is sex

She further realized that she identifies married men with her father whom she highly respected because he was very loving and caring towards her. He gave her a sense of being loved and protected.

She also realized that her need to feel protected from pain came from several earlier failed relationships with guys of similar age with her in her younger days. Those failed relationships not only gave her a sense of vulnerability but also lowered her self esteem.

After several failures, she believed that she could not establish any meaningful relationships with men of her age. Those failed relationships also led her to her limiting beliefs mentioned above.

Once she recognized her limiting beliefs and where they came from, she can consciously decide to change her beliefs. She learned not to generalize men and instead to treat each person as unique individual, each with his own strengths and weaknesses.

Several months after this, she began a relationship with a single man a few years older than her whom she described as “loving and caring”. He works in the same building but with a different company.

“It’s as if he was there all along but I couldn’t see him because of all the self limiting beliefs I had about men. The moment I change my beliefs, I could see so much more possibilities… and there he was, right under my nose!”

The last I heard, they were happily married.

COURAGE AND TRANSFORMATION

It takes courage to want to change.

Most people prefer being in their own comfort zones, even if they are not happy in them, because they lack the courage to examine themselves. They are afraid of what they might find out about themselves.

All change requires self examination. Many people find it frightening to do that. When you take the courageous step to do that, you’ll find a lot of new possibilities opening up to you. You feel empowered and in control over your life – and that will make all the difference!

Or you can just stay the way you are, joining the mass of men who lives lives of quiet desperation – to borrow a quote from Henry Thoreau. As they say, “Knowledge is NOT power; knowledge AND action is!”

How Beliefs Work

How Beliefs Work

Have you ever bought a car and then all of a sudden you see the same model everywhere on the road? When I first considered setting up my own clinic many years ago, I discovered that all of a sudden there were clinics everywhere I went. There have been there all along but I did not see them until I started to focus my mind on setting up my own clinic. The outer reality has not really changed but what has changed is my inner thoughts and focuses.

Beliefs work the same way.

Once we have decided to take on a belief, most of the time unconsciously, our brain seems to re-configure itself, re-arranging the neural pathways, and we ended up turning our focus on things and events that further validate the belief. We literally attract these things into our lives.

That is why Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Believe it and you will see it” instead of the usual “I’ll believe it when I see it”. He wrote an entire book on this concept.

So when you hold on to a belief of lack or a belief that the universe is hostile, then you will “see” the evidence in your life validating those beliefs. Believe you are not worthy and it is reflected in your low self esteem and other self esteem issues, in the way you avoid relationships or commitments, or in experiencing people in your life who continue to take you for granted or look down on you.

Believe in a benevolent universe and a universe of abundance, and you will begin to see evidence of abundance and generosity, kindness and compassion.

The good news is that you get to choose what you want to believe in.

The bad news is that you can choose your beliefs only if you are highly mindful and aware of your thoughts. This is because beliefs are most often taken in unconsciously and as long as you continue to live your life unconsciously you will continue to take in beliefs without being able to filter them.

Fortunately, there are many ways and tools to remove unwanted life-limiting beliefs and consciously accept life-enhancing beliefs.

Being aware that there is such a possibility is already a step forward. To be able to learn the methods and to apply them in your own life would be truly transformational, and there are many powerful methods to choose from. Look for them and you will find them.

Spirituality is a personal choice

Spirituality is a personal choice

Choosing to walk the spiritual path is a very personal decision. It is a decision that only you can make. No one can, nor do they have the right to, compel you to make this choice. It is a personal matter – a personal choice.

Our modern lifestyle is too focused on materiality. If you are fine with that, that is OK too. However, sooner or later, and especially as you grow older, you will start to seek something more than material wealth.

Perhaps you will question your existence and your mortality in the face of friends and relatives passing away, or in your own illness. Perhaps you encounter a unique spiritual experience. Many people discover spirituality in the midst of their failures. Whatever the case may be, at some point in your life, spirituality will become important.

That would be a good starting point to seek out spirituality.

 

What is spirituality?

The word “spirituality” can mean so many things to so many people. Some find spirituality to be daunting and mysterious because it has been made out to be such.

In fact, spirituality is simply the aspect of our life that is not perceivable by our five physical sense organs – the eyes, the ears, the nose, the tongue and the body. All of life is made up of spirit and matter. Even our own existence is a combination of mind and body. It is the immaterial that is spiritual.

Judge Thomas Troward, who gave the famous Edinburgh Lectures on Mental Science, said it best when he said that the only real difference between the dead matter and the living spirit is intelligence, or consciousness. Thus, spirit and mind are intimately related.

Here is where we have to be very careful with the use of words, for they can sometimes be the cause of confusion. In fact, in your own search for spirituality, you will come across similar words that are used in different religions. Some of these same words refer to different things. On the other hand, sometimes different words are used to refer to the same thing.

It is important to be aware of this limitation of words. It may be more useful to look at what the word represents and remember the nature, qualities or values that it represents instead of the word itself. Then you can see the similarities in the different words used, or the differences in the same word used by different religions.

 

Seeker of Truth

The seeker of spirituality is essentially the seeker of truth – the absolute truth. The nature of this absolute truth is that it is unchanging. It exists in the past, in the present and in the future. It exists everywhere. It is beyond time and space. In any point in time and space, it is there. It is there even before time and space.

This being the case, anyone who seeks it, regardless of where or when he starts out from, he should eventually arrive at the same truth – the unchanging truth. Thus, no one has an exclusive claim on spirituality – not Christianity, not Islam, not Hinduism, not Buddhism, not Sikhism, not any religions.

In fact, you will find that genuine spiritual seekers will not compel you to believe in what he himself believes in. True spirituality is not about beliefs. It is about knowledge. Beliefs may be a starting point but it must never end there. Your beliefs must eventually lead you to the absolute truth through your practice.

Therefore, there is no compulsion in spirituality or in any true religions. Compulsion is only for the fearful and the faithless who seeks strength in numbers. They are not genuine spiritual seekers.

 

My Spirituality

So, this is how I have come to see my own spirituality.

I do not see a personal God, who favors one group of people over another. God does not play favoritism. God does not say, “If you are a Christian/Muslim/Hindu/Buddhist, you go to heaven. The rest will go to hell.” I do not believe in such a God.

What I see is an impersonal creative force – a natural force. You can call it Divine Intelligence or Divine Mind. It is impersonal. It creates everything, following natural laws. Thus, it embraces everything and it is impartial. This is unconditional love. This is true justice. After all, how can one be fair when one is partial?

So, my spirituality is a path I am taking to recognize this Divine or Universal Mind. It is to purify my own Personal Mind so that it can then re-experience this Divine Mind, this Original Pristine Mind. The goal is to remove all impurities – all negativities, all unwholesome motivations, all limiting views or beliefs – from my Personal Mind, and make it pristine again.

Some people called this the merging with the Divine and considered this to be the ultimate attainment in a spiritual path. I do not know if it is the ultimate but I do know that this is the path I am taking.

And I invite you to join me in this beautiful journey.

Change Your Beliefs and You Change Your Life

Change Your Beliefs and You Change Your Life

Our mind is to our body what the software is to the computer. It controls the body. Whatever words and deeds that come out through your mouth or your body must first be conceived in your mind. Our belief system is comparable to the computer’s operating system (OS). It determines…. how we respond or react to the external world and circumstances, and what we attract into our life.

If you look carefully at yourself, you’ll realise that how you respond to a certain situation is largely dependant on your core beliefs. If you believe that the world out there is a dog-eat-dog world, you’ll respond in a certain way. You’ll put on your guard when you deal with people around you, with a greater degree of mistrust and apprehension. This is a common mindset in the business world.

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How Beliefs Work

How Beliefs Work

A belief is merely a perception of reality.

The ancient spiritual teachers taught us that there are two types of truths – absolute truth and relative truth.

We live in a universe where everything we perceive is relative to something else. It is a relative universe. An object is big in relation to another smaller object. However, when compared to a larger object than itself, then it is small.

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The Amazing Power of Beliefs

The Amazing Power of Beliefs

Of all the things that influence our lives, our beliefs is perhaps the most important. What we believe shapes our attitude and behaviour, and if we want to change or transform our lives we cannot truly succeed without changing our beliefs.

The Internet is filled with stories about how the power of belief can and has changed a person’s life. What is less obvious to most people is how our beliefs determine our day to day reality.

I once heard a testimony from a public speaker about how he unconsciously allowed his belief to alter his life. Here’s his story:

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